Rainy Wednesday

My daughter called me at promptly 2:50pm.  This is a familiar time-of-day-phone call if she is seeking to twist a ride home from school from her mother.  She knows that I am highly in favor of the 25 minute walk that lies before her, but still she tries to bat those beautiful eyelashes across the phone lines.  Today her ploy was..."Mom...it's going to start raining soon...can you pppllllleeeaaassseee come and pick us up?"(she and a friend)  My loving response, "Well, you better hurry if it's going to rain soon."

I know, I'm such a loving mother.

She was right...it did start sprinkling shortly after.  Eventually the sprinkle seemed to pick up steam, and by the time it became a drenching rain, I figured there was no point in going to retrieve these two girls.  They would already be soaked.  It was to be a good five minutes until they arrived home.  In the meantime I watched out my kitchen window as sheets of driving rain swept across our street.  And my thought was...

Oops.  Perhaps I should have gone in search of them.  But hey...then I would have missed this:

 

But  why would I have wanted to miss this memory???!!!!

Clothes and hair dry.  Laughter is good for the soul.  Such fun on a rainy Wednesday.

Because He Lives

"Do not be afraid(stop being afraid), for I know that you are looking for Jesus who has been crucified.  He is not here, for He has risen,  just as He said."
--Matthew 28:5,6

There is no longer a reason to be afraid.  Jesus is alive! 

If Jesus is here...in this moment, in my world, and He is, what have I to fear?

The resurrection of Jesus puts to rest our fears.

Oh for for grace to live each day in the power of His resurrection."

But the Lord...

"All of us like sheep have gone astray,
Each of us has turned to his own way.
But the Lord,  has caused the iniquity of us all
To fall on Him."
--Isaiah 53:6

"Ajith Fernando spoke these challenging, faith-building words to my spirit many years ago:  "May you see the 'but God' in every crisis."

Is this not what we are contemplating, remembering, and reverencing this Holy Week?  As we move closer to Good Friday and the dark shadow of His death, is this not what it is all about?!  
God, stepping in to deal with our sin-crisis, placing all of our sin...yours and mine, on Him.   

But the Lord!  Can there be three more hope-filled words for mankind!!





 

Happy Birthday My Love

This does not seem possible...my hubby turned 54 yesterday.

We actually celebrated on Monday evening, since the kids had youth group last night.  Cam BBQ'd yummy burgers and I made Oven Potato Wedges with a wickedly delicious "batter"(margarine, chili powder, crushed garlic, parsley and parmesan)  Mmmmm....I'm salivating just writing this!!!  Caesar Salad, veggies and OF COURSE....choclate cake.

For Brian, there truly is no other way to celebrate one's birthday than with chocolate!!!

 Of course, one must celebrate with Golf as well!!!

In between dinner and gifts/cake, we went out to see the new movie, "Soul Surfer".  A wonderfully inspiring movie based on a true story.  It's encouraging to see someone's life of faith be depicted on screen in a positive fashion.
So...another year older and wiser for my husband.  Another year where I am grateful to know this man and share my life with him.  Eucharisteo!

Holy Week

"God, often I begin a new week in anticipation of what lies ahead.  At times, I have moments of dread because of something which looms not so friendly on the horizon.  

But You, Parent Father, are only days away from allowing Your only Son to face cruelty to the extreme, abandonment in fullest measure, pain in wracking intensity, sin's crushing weight.

I fail to grasp even a portion of what lay in store for You.

I fail to fathom Your thoughts on a day like today, Jesus, as crowds of people would have praised, honored and hailed you as King.  Yet You knew.  You knew that in the end, you would stand alone, with no one, not even your Father to come to Your aid.

For many, the coming days are referred to as "Holy Week".  I desire to step into these days with an open spirit, yearning to hear what You want me to hear.  To know what You want me to know.  To live what You want me to live.

Grant me courage to walk this road with you.

Cam's Bible College Graduation

Today Cam graduated from Bible College.

His 4 month "Expedition" program from September-December 2010 was brief in the larger scheme of Bible College programs, but he still wore a gown and walked across the stage and his Mama was grateful...Eucharisteo in full!  Grateful because the God of the universe reached into my young man's spirit and changed him yet again.  God is always on the loose!!

Some of the Exped Team who were the hands and feet of Jesus in our own city, in Montreal, Quebec City, New York and the Philippines.  Memory making moments to last a lifetime.

 Cam...Praying God's wise and bountiful blessing as you continue to journey with Him on the wild and purposeful adventure He has called you to.

 

Welcome to "Spring at my Blog"

"No winter lasts forever,
no spring skips its turn."
--Hal Borian

Now... I must get outside and enjoy this gorgeous spring day!!

Knowing His Ways

Several days ago, my Lenten devotional asked me to prayerfully read a portion of Psalm 95--

"When your fathers tested Me, they tried Me, though they had seen my work.  For forty years I loathed that generation, and I said they are a people who err in their heart, And they do not know My ways.  Therefore I swore in My anger, Truly they shall not enter into My rest." (verses 9-11)

There is so much that is challenging and sobering and downright scarey in these few verses, but you can see the words which bolded off the page at me..."And they do not know My ways."

Do I know God's ways???  This is the question that has continued to haunt  me.
Do I truly know His ways and do I trust them? 
Do I trust Him?

I am one day removed from hearing a heart-stopping story about my young nephew.  He is safe and we are incredibly grateful.   We have been quick to offer our thanks to God for His merciful protection.  We can too easily point to other children and similar situations whose end was unspeakable tragedy.

The question begs to be asked here.  "What are His ways?" 

"For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Neither are your ways My ways," declares the Lord.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways,
And My thoughts than your thoughts."
Isaiah 55:8,9


The "fine print" of His ways is not for us to know, but the "bold print"? 


The "bold print" emphatically declares that God's ways are sovereign, loving, just, wise, and ultimately trustworthy. 

"God may I lean into You to know and trust Your ways...their length and breadth."

A Crossroads

I find it joyfully liberating when God reveals Himself in unexpected ways.  It's as though He whispers, "Stop here a moment, I want to show you something."  The following scripture was part of my Lent Devotional this morning.

"Be gracious to me, O Lord, for I am in distress;
My eye wastes away from grief, my soul and body also.
For my life is spent with sorrow, and my years with sighing;
my strength fails because of my misery, and my bones waste away...
But I trust in You, O Lord;
I say, 'You are my God.'
My times are in Your hand;
deliver me from the hand of my enemies and persecutors.
Let Your face shine upon Your servant;
Save me in Your steadfast love." 
Psalms 31:9,10, 14-16

It is not difficult for me to remember horrid days such as what the Psalmist David describes.  Days when I truly felt as though my life was spent in sorrow, when my eyes were drenched in tears, strength of body, soul and spirit draining from me. 

I trusted in Him, but feebly.  I knew my times were in His hands, but those hands felt cruel too often.  I yearned for His merciful deliverance from that which tormented the very depth of my being.

Today, the beauty of His face shines on me.  His compassionate deliverance and steadfast love has saved me.  And one by one He has been slaying my enemies.  And my response?

"What can I say?
What can I do?
But to offer my life oh Lord, completely to You."
--Hillsong United


"This is my song of praise to You
For who You are and all You do."
--Brian Doerksen


I am finding myself asking..."Am I at a crossroads?"  So much has changed in my life since those years of darkness.  And in the past months, a spiritual spring of newness and depth and peace is sprouting within. 

Brian Doerksen challenges me to dream again...to be led by my Shepherd Guide
.
Here we stand
At a crossroads again
Like you said
In time the seasons change

Looking back
We recall the blessing and the pain
But now we turn our hearts toward
What is still to come  
We want to dream again


Lead us Lord
Into a life of fruitfulness
Prepare our hearts to risk again
As we trust
Taking simple steps of obedience we know
That You will lead us Lord.


I don't know what it means for me to dream again or for Him to lead me into new seasons.  I do know that there was a powerful moment in prayer yesterday when my Spiritual Director announced to the Father that "anxiety and depression no longer define Juanita".  Those were spirit stopping words underlined on my heart.  Emotional struggles are still a part of my earthly journey, but I am now defined by Christ, and the life He lives within me.

I believe this is a crossroads.  Clearly a crossroads in my walk with Christ, but beyond that, I don't know.  But what I do know is that I am at rest in the all sufficient, perfect ways of Christ and it's a beautiful place to be.

Eucharisteo

I am devouring Ann Voskkamp's book, "One Thousand Gifts"--A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are.

Extraordinary, life-changing, deeply moving, it has been for me.  Her theme, Eucharisteo has captured my attention.  Ann explains:  "Eucharisteo, it's the central theme of Christianity...Thanksgiving...We only enter into the full life if our faith gives thanks." 

My own desire to practically live this out is found in an open journal on my desk.  It's aptly named my "Eucharisteo Journal" and it's where I am writing in ink my own Eucharisteo...thanksgiving.

One of them today is recorded as "Sparkle Days".

Reverend Isabella Ross, a depression survivor in the book called, "Beyond Crazy--Journeys Through Mental" Illness by Julia Nunes and Scott Simmie, shares what I so closely resonate with.  Listen to her words:

"I will probably always know depression, but it surprises me, each time I am in recovery, how far off the depression can seem and how hard it is to recall the symptoms.  That, I imagine, is the blessing of health.  When you are sick, you can't imagine what it is like to be well; when you are well, you can't imagine that you were really sick.  And I appreciate so much when I am well.  To me, it means being able to live in the present, not being haunted by fear all the time, not having your mind overrun with negative thoughts.  It's feeling connected to other people.  Being well is not this great euphoria or happiness, it's sort of waking up in the morning and knowing what to expect.  When I'm well I think, 'If only I could stay like this for the rest of my life.'  But in reality, that has not been my experience.  Recovery is, the way I describe it, a few months of living in the light.  But you always hope.  You always have this hope that it might be for the rest of your life."

I find it so refreshing to read the words of another human being and feel like it's surfacing from my own skin.  I'm not sure that I would refer to my days of good emotional health as "recovery".  I more think of them as a reprieve.  A welcome reprieve from the battle within.  And at present, I'm living it.  A friend of mine appropriately named these days as "sparkle days".  It's as though my eyes are wide open...my soul and spirit awake to all that's around me....contentment encircling all of me.

And it makes me deeply grateful.  Brimming with thanksgiving.  Eucharisteo for these days of full life.

(The days when darker clouds roll in are also days of fullest life and having my mouth speak words of thanks, but this harder way of living out Eucharisteo is for another post.)

For now, my being is entrenched in this full life.



http://www.amazon.ca/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Dca-books-english-tree&field-keywords=One+Thousand+Gifts+by+Ann+Voskamp


This truly is a must read!!!  It goes well beyond simple gratitude, but will take you to a depth of eucharisteo that will transform your life if you truly choose to live it out.

Giving and Opening

"All Of Lent is a lesson in giving up pieces of ourselves...The closer we wish to come to God, the more of our carefully constructed selves we must relinquish.  We have to give up our illusions, our defenses, any selfish personal goals, our carefully designed sense of who we are supposed to be and what we are supposed to do.  This sounds terrible, and it can be painful.  However, as we give up these areas, we open ourselves, and God enters more fully."
--Sarah Parsons
"A Clearing Season:  Reflections for Lent"

I read these words last evening, pondering them and asking Him what I might need to give up so that I may open more to His fullness.

This morning I sat with my Spiritual Director listening as she gently guided me to uncharted territory.  I listened quietly, but with a heart beating faster with the words she spoke.

My spirit is calm this evening as I reflect on the God-stirrings within.  There is little clarity in the path ahead and no call to make haste.  God is never in a rush.  Have you noticed that also? 

It's the opening I have made for Him--that He may have His way with me.  This was His desire, I am sure.

"Enter in my God, enter in."