Sisters

The "tomorrow" of October 10 has come and gone and I have been home with bags unpacked for over a week now.

My memories of this time away are still near to my thoughts which is a lovely  place for them to be I find.  In some ways they are effortless to recount and yet in other ways I feel as though more took place in those 7 days than I can fully put words to.

In a short and succinct way, I had an amazing time.  It was rich to be in the space my sister now calls home...to laugh and work and relax and shop and eat and walk and sleep and put faces to names of friends.  It was beautiful to do life together from sun up til sun down for a stretch of days.

I slept on a mattress covered with memories.  The quilt which warmed me at night was the same one which spread across our bed in our upstairs farmhouse bedroom.  A touch like this to my sleeping hours is something I can't put words to.  There's so much wrapped up in the threads of this covering.

The growing up years are for the early stages of discovering who we are as individuals and throughout our lives, we continue to unfold yet more and more.  It was interesting for both of us, now as adults, to interact with each other in ways that we have never previously done.

We worked well together with comfort and ease; a delightful thing to discover, and very helpful for sorting through boxes!!  There was never a time where I noticed an edge in either of us.  We seemed to glide smoothly through the days.  I suppose you could suggest that we were both on our best behavior, but I think it had more to do with each of us sharing similar patterns of living.

We both like to eat healthy which makes grocery shopping and meal preparation an enjoyable affair.

Neither of us have to have the best of everything which means perfection was not the goal of setting up her home.

My sister has a quiet, relaxed way about her, a serenity even, which I often lack.  I benefited greatly from following her lead in the pace of our days.  It's a way of living and being that I am endeavoring to have flow through my days.

We share a desire to be self aware and within that comes a natural way of expressing our thoughts and feelings.  We both, for varying reasons had moments of tears and could simply and honestly express what was behind the struggle sliding down our cheeks.  In turn, the other quietly listened without  a compulsion to ebb the flow or fix the problem.  I love this about us. 

As very young and impressionable girls we shared the tragic loss of our mother.  Our lives have been forever changed by this day in our history.  Each of us found ourselves in that ocean of grief in different times in our adult lives and over time opened the silence of our grief to one another.  That our pain bears a strong collective component is no surprise.  The embracing of our pain has in turn enabled us to embrace each other in a unique and intimate way.   There are not always words for moments.  We have lived these moments in shared silence.  I wonder if this isn't a part of the reason why I feel inept to capture and put into words our week together.  It was like there was a part of our being together as sisters which was sacred for us.  For sure it was for me.

So I won't force words where none should be.

Even what I have written feels unfinished, lacking...

I will hold this time near to my grateful heart and let this be enough.

Tomorrow

Tomorrow feels big.  Probably because it is.

Tomorrow feels a little scarey.  I suppose because any time we step out of our comfort zones we are faced with that sense of having lost our familiar foothold.

Tomorrow feels exciting.  Because it's the start of a week long adventure that looks like abundance in so many ways.

Tomorrow holds promise.  Anytime I step out with God He promises to walk with me and to work in and around me in rich and unique ways.

One of my sisters moved today and tomorrow morning I fly to her new home to help her unpack, settle and begin this next season of her life.  She's been nothing short of a warrior woman to get to this day and I feel honored to be able to take the paper off the many treasures in her mountain of boxes so she is able to set up her own nest.

The Airporter picks me up at 7 am for my 10:15 flight.  This is the second time in the last few years that I am flying alone which is no small feat for one who was "can't- move- can't- breathe-terrified-of-flying!!  So yes, this is out of my comfort zone, but I'm doing it!!!

The last time my sister and I had concentrated time like this together we were teenagers on our family farm.  I can't remember which one of us truly did hog the covers in the bed we shared, but I know we blamed the other endlessly.   Spending this coming week together, at times feels daunting and yet we are both believe that this is a gift of time that will be memorable.  And if in the midst of boxes and disorganization either of us need space, well...we are both more than capable of expressing what we need and graciously living that out.  We have both grown up at lot since cover hogging days!!!

Being away from home and managing life with diabetes is always a challenge for me on many levels.  It's so much easier to control blood sugars and maintain a consistent eating schedule and menu in the confines of my nest.  Stepping out of my environment is challenging and yet I know I would miss out on so much if I remained within my own familiar walls.

I am a homebody by far!!  haha  But four years ago God began to whisper in my ear that my stationary, "safe" life kept me from splashes of adventure.   And so here I am, with bags packed, ready for another one. 

Bedtime soon to rest my body and the butterflies:)