A Prayer for Everyday

"O God,
I seem to spend my whole life wanting to rush ahead.
I'm always thinking of tomorrow, next week, next month, next year.
I'm always wishing time would hurry by.

I'm seldom here,
right here,
in this moment,
at this time,
being part of what is around me...

Perhaps that's why I find it hard to connect with you, O God, because connecting with you is a here-and-now thing:  and I'm never now--I'm always in the future.

Help me to be here in the present.
Help me to enjoy this very moment.

Remind me that the abundant life you offer is now.  
Remind me that tomorrow will take care of itself and that today is all I have.

Let me enjoy my journey today.  Wash away from my mind all thoughts about what I'd rather be doing or where I'd rather be at this moment.  Take away the urge to push time forward.  Help me to sit back and to simply be."
--Patricia Wilson
"Quiet Spaces"

It's been one of those days where this prayer echoes my heart and the hours I've rushed through.  Tomorrow there will be new mercies awaiting as I climb out of bed.  For now, I rest in Him who overwhelms my broken ways with His wholeness.

Growing Ever So Slowly

"People who are in an active growth process can expect to change.
Sometimes it seems as though they shed their old skin,
almost becoming different people,
or perhaps they just become more profoundly themselves to shine.
They give up control and find in themselves new flexibility.
They may discover their strength, resiliency, or artistry.
They give up singing old dirges and risk living in a new key."
--Tilda Norberg
"Gathered Together"

Oh how I long to shed my old skin.

This uncluttering of my soul is such a slow process.  It is happening, and I relish those moments when I am so completely at home in God's presence without a care or agenda.  But it seems a snail's pace so often.  One step forward and two steps back it feels.


So be it.  This is the nature of the human heart and certainly the way of mine.  However halting the pace may be, I'm grateful to be walking this pathway home to Him.

Surrendering ...in 2012

Yesterday was my first day back to routine since Christmas.  I decided that since my daughter was still on holidays last week, that I would take my version of a holiday.  And just for the record, I only slept 45 minutes longer in the morning, unlike the 12:00 noon of my daughter:) 

I threw myself into uncluttering my home, and although some would find it a stretch to call that a holiday, it was such a satisfying, freeing task; one which I enjoyed immensely.  I have made several trips to second hand stores, and sorted through much paper for recycling.  I am slowly clearing out the rooms of my home. 

Surrendering comes into the picture as I continue to have God unclutter my soul.  I am so grateful for the Spirit's moving in me as I recognize those places which need to be handed over to Him.

I came across a powerful prayer of surrendering the new year.  The words have gripped me, and although I cannot authentically pray it through, I so desire to get to that place where I can.

"God, in this new year,
may I no longer be my own but yours.
Put me to what you will;
rank me with whom you will.
Put me to doing; put me to suffering.
Let me be employed for you or laid aside for you,
exalted for you or brought low for you.
Let me be full; let me be empty.
Let me have all things; let me have nothing.
I freely and heartily yield all things to your pleasure and disposal.
And now, O glorious and blessed God--
Creator, Redeemer, Inspirer--
you are mine, and I am yours.
May this promise that I hereby make on earth
be ratified in heaven.
Amen."
--W. Paul Jones
"An Eclectic Almanac for the Faithful"

Do you see what I mean by powerful?? 

And yes, excruciatingly difficult to mouth such words, but oh how freeing it would be to live in such surrender to the Holy One!!

And I crave that freedom!!!

Holding on, grasping for control is binding, and yet so often it is how I live. 

But I have been more aware the past week and a half, of people, places or things which need to be surrendered.  And as I release the burdens, cast on Him the worries, and let go of impossible expectations, I am experiencing peace. 

You might have noticed that I titled this post "Surrendering...in 2012".  It's not as though I have surrendered the next 365 days all in one lump sum.  "There you go , God...it's all yours."

No...I think it's more of an ongoing surrendering...a process.  And some of it is hard work...I'm not always able to hand it over easily.  But as He reveals that which is better left in His hands, I am seeking the path of surrender, and welcoming the freedom of resting in Him.

"God, in this new year,
may I practice surrendering 
all that comes my way."

An Uncluttered Heart and Home

This is my desire, purpose, hope...for the coming  year.

I do hesitate to boldly state such a "resolution".  That which is screaming loudly at me right now, may be overtaken by something else months from now.  Still, the present is where I live, and it is clearly the place where God is asking me start 2012.

In many ways I find it frustrating to have finished off the past year, and see how cluttered all of me had become.  Coming from a person who strives to hear God's voice throughout the day, I wonder how I could have strayed.  And yet, yes, I am fully human...broken, and often self-inclined.  So why should I be surprised?!!

Gratefully, it is a new year, full of so much hope.  I don't say that  nonchalantly either.  I have crawled into many a new year, with very little hope.  But this year seems to hold a freshness within it, and I anticipate God-with-me in the unfolding days.

It was His Spirit (through words from my son) that has challenged me to unclutter my heart, and yes, my home as well.  Until the past week, some of the clutter in my heart had gone unnoticed.  The way in which my love for God has been replaced by affections for other things, in some of the corners of my heart.  The way I had begun to succumb to voices other than His to direct some of my daily decisions.  The pseudo rest I had settled for in my life, the excess amounts of worry and self-analyzing, the ways in which I had failed to allow His truth to permeate the lies.  Oh...so much clutter which cut of my freedom to live fully!

Then there's my home.  Perhaps some fail to see how closely these two are connected.  I have often said that my home is an extension of me.  It truly is.  And though I usually think of this in positive terms, in this case, some of the clutter in my home reflects the clutter of my heart.  Oh, it's not seen by the average eye.  (That's often the way with the heart as well).  There are drawers and closets, and storage areas that continue to collect, and very much need to be purged.  It does bother me...the clutter behind closed doors.  It has been quietly  affecting me in even somewhat claustrophobic ways.  Perhaps because I know that to a large extent, all of "this" could be donated to second hand stores and actually be used by someone.   Oh, and the desire and need to simplify (aka) unclutter, is so necessary within my home.  Sigh.

I'm not going to lament all of the above, or browbeat myself for what is now at the forefront of my mind.  This is the time to unclutter.  This is the time to open wide my heart for God to do His work in me...and my home.  And because the time is here, I am more than ready to embark.  In fact, I have already begun uncluttering these past few days.  A slow, but steady process lies ahead. 

"O God of Second Chances
and New Beginnings,
     Here I am again."
--Nancy Spiegelberg