Stronger...
Because sapless faith drove me to my Fortress
Stronger...
Because echoing laments opened my ears to silence
Stronger...
Because adversity harvested wiser life rhythms
Stronger...
Because exhaustive "why's" yielded to Sovereign mystery
Stronger...
Because the blocked tunnel schooled me in waiting
Stronger...
Because joy eclipsed helped me choose contentment
Stronger...
Because a dismal future forced me to relish moments
Stronger...
Because the dark night of my soul refined my spirit
Stronger...
Because in my lostness Adonai found me
And I will never be the same
I recently listened to a Focus on the Family broadcast in which Jim Daley's new book, "Trading Brokenness for Unbreakable Strength--Stronger" http://onedesertrose.wordpress.com/2010/09/13/turn-struggles-into-triumphs-stronger-by-jim-daly-president-of-fotf/ was highlighted. He shared how adversity in his life, as well as his wife's, had made them stronger.
I found myself reflecting on my own seasons of adversity. I, like every other person on this broken planet, do not welcome hardships. But adverse cirumstances can be the stimulus for forging a stronger spirit. I don't know about you, but I'm grateful that after all the pain has subsided, there is something to show for it all. That I have been schooled throughout the battle. That is wasn't all for not.
It doesn't mean that I have forever adopted some new growth pattern, or valuable truth, never to be forgotten. I wish that were the case! I am always a work in progress. I awaken to some untouched area, and yet there is always more to grasp. The well of my spirit is never full. So too, the trials of life never cease. This side of heaven, there will always be a "Stronger...because".
The wild and glorious undeniable fact, is that I am forever changed by the winds of oppression. Beauty from ashes. Joy after mourning. Romans 8:28.
Stronger.
What is your "Stronger...because"?
Friday, September 17, 2010
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
The Wealth in His Words
"Under His wings you may seek refuge. His faithfulness is a shield and a bulwark." Psalm 91:4
It's one of countless beautiful verses...like music to my weary, or frightened, or worry-consumed soul. A few days ago I started unpacking these words. Meditation is the spiritual discipline that my Devotional book has me in at the moment. I confess that this continues to be a learning curve for me. The phrase..."if you can worry, you can meditate" has gently haunted me, knowing that I am far more adept at one than the other.
But at present I am putting my energies into meditating. As I have focused on words and sought definitions, the meaning in the verse above has virtually exploded.
When I reflect on the wings of a bird, my mind soars to pictures of shelter and protection and warmth.
Words which are similar to refuge might be, sanctuary, safehold, or haven.
The term shield can mean defend, guard, secure.
I sense strength in the picture of a bulwark...fortification, defense work, rampart, fence, barrier, enclosure.
Oh what a wealth of protection, love, safety and surety in the refuge and faithfulness of God!!! I can hide under His wings anytime I choose!!
Did you notice that? "...you MAY seek refuge." I believe it's my choice. I choose if I will run to the sanctuary that is Him, with my ruminating worries, or overwhelming burdens.
So often is it not until I collapse into His rest, that I stop long enough to recognize the magnitude of His faithfulness. It is so all encompassing!
There is a wealth in His utterances, a richness beyond even what I am able to grasp. To think He gave us page after page after page of such priceless truths!
"O God...quicken my spirit to delve more earnestly into such a vast expanse."
It's one of countless beautiful verses...like music to my weary, or frightened, or worry-consumed soul. A few days ago I started unpacking these words. Meditation is the spiritual discipline that my Devotional book has me in at the moment. I confess that this continues to be a learning curve for me. The phrase..."if you can worry, you can meditate" has gently haunted me, knowing that I am far more adept at one than the other.
But at present I am putting my energies into meditating. As I have focused on words and sought definitions, the meaning in the verse above has virtually exploded.
When I reflect on the wings of a bird, my mind soars to pictures of shelter and protection and warmth.
Words which are similar to refuge might be, sanctuary, safehold, or haven.
The term shield can mean defend, guard, secure.
I sense strength in the picture of a bulwark...fortification, defense work, rampart, fence, barrier, enclosure.
Oh what a wealth of protection, love, safety and surety in the refuge and faithfulness of God!!! I can hide under His wings anytime I choose!!
Did you notice that? "...you MAY seek refuge." I believe it's my choice. I choose if I will run to the sanctuary that is Him, with my ruminating worries, or overwhelming burdens.
So often is it not until I collapse into His rest, that I stop long enough to recognize the magnitude of His faithfulness. It is so all encompassing!
There is a wealth in His utterances, a richness beyond even what I am able to grasp. To think He gave us page after page after page of such priceless truths!
"O God...quicken my spirit to delve more earnestly into such a vast expanse."
Thursday, September 2, 2010
"Packing, birthdays and the looming Goodbye"
Surreal. That's what I'm living in this week. I'm not a wreck, not moved to tears as he checks another thing off his packing list. I'm just not fully grasping the reality of it all.
How can I have a son who will be 18 in two days? Is he really packing up and moving out? Then what? What will this "look" like in our family unit? This "growing up" always happens to other peoples' kids. Now it's happening to me. Sigh. There is a part of me that wonders if I've done enough. Have I ensured that he is ready for the world out there? And I think there are probably two answers here..."Yes" and "No". "Yes", because he'll make it out there no problem. And "No", because I'm an imperfect human being, and cannot possibly have given him all that he needs. But that's where God comes in and extends mercy to my fallibility, and all encompassing care to my son.
It's been such a good week with Cam. I bribed him on Sunday and took him out for ice cream so that I could go over the "things to do" list. It worked! ha,ha. We had fun together, compromised and managed to make a plan for the week. He even allowed me to check up on him last evening! (But no nagging allowed in between).
To my surprise nagging wasn't even required. I haven't seen him focus on tasks like this since his last semester of highschool. And his room!!!! The tornado winds that tore through his room several years ago, actually calmed this week and I can walk across the rug with no fear of fracturing my ankle. Gosh, I should almost take a picture.
He's leaving his trail of memories though...I caught him again the other day. He arrives home from work on his bike and grabs one of my tea towels to wipe the sweat off his face and neck!!!!!!!! He claims it is "just salt and water". The tea towel obviously goes in the laundry, but I wonder how many times he's done it when I'm not around??? I don't even want to know. I bought him some tea towels for residence. I suppose they will get used one way or another.
Sunday evening we went for a family walk to a nearby park area. It was lovely, with he and his sister actually talking and walking amicably together. I was quite enjoying our little outing, until Cam decided that our walk home would be the route he often takes as he jogs. Over an hour later, we arrive home, hot, sweaty, and me wondering if I will make it. Being diabetic I always carry an emergency snack with me, but was not prepared for Cam's long detour home. His response to me..."you should have brought a lunch.". (Sound familiar?)
We celebrated his birthday last evening, since he will be off on his adventure on Saturday. The requested menu was steak, corn, mashed potatoes(with cream cheese and sour cream...mmmm.) and then Angel food cake with peaches and ice cream.
He just can't stop bugging his sister!!!!!!!
Throughout the teenage years, my husband has often said, "Well, he's 13, or 15 or 17 and he still loves us. Last night, as he and Cam chatted around the BBQ, Brian commented to Cam..."You've made it to 18 and you still love us..."
It's a beautiful gift. Because there really are no guarantees. You can pour yourself into your babes and toddlers and preschoolers and they'll love you back with all they've got. But when the tumultuous teenage years hit, a lot can go array. You really have no idea where you as a parent will end up in your grown child's ratings. Brian and I consider ourselves richly blessed. Our son has opened himself to God's touch in his life and it has made all the difference in the world.
As I finish up this post, Cam is upstairs playing piano. I'm going to miss that.
"Home is a company of people with particular values and a particular history...It is the particular womb out of which we are born...Home is a gift we never earn...Everyone leaves home a little differently." --Herbert Anderson & Kenneth R. Mitchell "Leaving Home"
Our home is an imperfect interweaving of people, but it's been ours. I cherish memories past and anticipate those yet to be created down the road.
How can I have a son who will be 18 in two days? Is he really packing up and moving out? Then what? What will this "look" like in our family unit? This "growing up" always happens to other peoples' kids. Now it's happening to me. Sigh. There is a part of me that wonders if I've done enough. Have I ensured that he is ready for the world out there? And I think there are probably two answers here..."Yes" and "No". "Yes", because he'll make it out there no problem. And "No", because I'm an imperfect human being, and cannot possibly have given him all that he needs. But that's where God comes in and extends mercy to my fallibility, and all encompassing care to my son.
It's been such a good week with Cam. I bribed him on Sunday and took him out for ice cream so that I could go over the "things to do" list. It worked! ha,ha. We had fun together, compromised and managed to make a plan for the week. He even allowed me to check up on him last evening! (But no nagging allowed in between).
To my surprise nagging wasn't even required. I haven't seen him focus on tasks like this since his last semester of highschool. And his room!!!! The tornado winds that tore through his room several years ago, actually calmed this week and I can walk across the rug with no fear of fracturing my ankle. Gosh, I should almost take a picture.
He's leaving his trail of memories though...I caught him again the other day. He arrives home from work on his bike and grabs one of my tea towels to wipe the sweat off his face and neck!!!!!!!! He claims it is "just salt and water". The tea towel obviously goes in the laundry, but I wonder how many times he's done it when I'm not around??? I don't even want to know. I bought him some tea towels for residence. I suppose they will get used one way or another.
Sunday evening we went for a family walk to a nearby park area. It was lovely, with he and his sister actually talking and walking amicably together. I was quite enjoying our little outing, until Cam decided that our walk home would be the route he often takes as he jogs. Over an hour later, we arrive home, hot, sweaty, and me wondering if I will make it. Being diabetic I always carry an emergency snack with me, but was not prepared for Cam's long detour home. His response to me..."you should have brought a lunch.". (Sound familiar?)
We celebrated his birthday last evening, since he will be off on his adventure on Saturday. The requested menu was steak, corn, mashed potatoes(with cream cheese and sour cream...mmmm.) and then Angel food cake with peaches and ice cream.
As I finish up this post, Cam is upstairs playing piano. I'm going to miss that.
"Home is a company of people with particular values and a particular history...It is the particular womb out of which we are born...Home is a gift we never earn...Everyone leaves home a little differently." --Herbert Anderson & Kenneth R. Mitchell "Leaving Home"
Our home is an imperfect interweaving of people, but it's been ours. I cherish memories past and anticipate those yet to be created down the road.
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