How can I have a son who will be 18 in two days? Is he really packing up and moving out? Then what? What will this "look" like in our family unit? This "growing up" always happens to other peoples' kids. Now it's happening to me. Sigh. There is a part of me that wonders if I've done enough. Have I ensured that he is ready for the world out there? And I think there are probably two answers here..."Yes" and "No". "Yes", because he'll make it out there no problem. And "No", because I'm an imperfect human being, and cannot possibly have given him all that he needs. But that's where God comes in and extends mercy to my fallibility, and all encompassing care to my son.
It's been such a good week with Cam. I bribed him on Sunday and took him out for ice cream so that I could go over the "things to do" list. It worked! ha,ha. We had fun together, compromised and managed to make a plan for the week. He even allowed me to check up on him last evening! (But no nagging allowed in between).
To my surprise nagging wasn't even required. I haven't seen him focus on tasks like this since his last semester of highschool. And his room!!!! The tornado winds that tore through his room several years ago, actually calmed this week and I can walk across the rug with no fear of fracturing my ankle. Gosh, I should almost take a picture.
He's leaving his trail of memories though...I caught him again the other day. He arrives home from work on his bike and grabs one of my tea towels to wipe the sweat off his face and neck!!!!!!!! He claims it is "just salt and water". The tea towel obviously goes in the laundry, but I wonder how many times he's done it when I'm not around??? I don't even want to know. I bought him some tea towels for residence. I suppose they will get used one way or another.
Sunday evening we went for a family walk to a nearby park area. It was lovely, with he and his sister actually talking and walking amicably together. I was quite enjoying our little outing, until Cam decided that our walk home would be the route he often takes as he jogs. Over an hour later, we arrive home, hot, sweaty, and me wondering if I will make it. Being diabetic I always carry an emergency snack with me, but was not prepared for Cam's long detour home. His response to me..."you should have brought a lunch.". (Sound familiar?)
We celebrated his birthday last evening, since he will be off on his adventure on Saturday. The requested menu was steak, corn, mashed potatoes(with cream cheese and sour cream...mmmm.) and then Angel food cake with peaches and ice cream.
As I finish up this post, Cam is upstairs playing piano. I'm going to miss that.
"Home is a company of people with particular values and a particular history...It is the particular womb out of which we are born...Home is a gift we never earn...Everyone leaves home a little differently." --Herbert Anderson & Kenneth R. Mitchell "Leaving Home"
Our home is an imperfect interweaving of people, but it's been ours. I cherish memories past and anticipate those yet to be created down the road.
