A Crossroads

I find it joyfully liberating when God reveals Himself in unexpected ways.  It's as though He whispers, "Stop here a moment, I want to show you something."  The following scripture was part of my Lent Devotional this morning.

"Be gracious to me, O Lord, for I am in distress;
My eye wastes away from grief, my soul and body also.
For my life is spent with sorrow, and my years with sighing;
my strength fails because of my misery, and my bones waste away...
But I trust in You, O Lord;
I say, 'You are my God.'
My times are in Your hand;
deliver me from the hand of my enemies and persecutors.
Let Your face shine upon Your servant;
Save me in Your steadfast love." 
Psalms 31:9,10, 14-16

It is not difficult for me to remember horrid days such as what the Psalmist David describes.  Days when I truly felt as though my life was spent in sorrow, when my eyes were drenched in tears, strength of body, soul and spirit draining from me. 

I trusted in Him, but feebly.  I knew my times were in His hands, but those hands felt cruel too often.  I yearned for His merciful deliverance from that which tormented the very depth of my being.

Today, the beauty of His face shines on me.  His compassionate deliverance and steadfast love has saved me.  And one by one He has been slaying my enemies.  And my response?

"What can I say?
What can I do?
But to offer my life oh Lord, completely to You."
--Hillsong United


"This is my song of praise to You
For who You are and all You do."
--Brian Doerksen


I am finding myself asking..."Am I at a crossroads?"  So much has changed in my life since those years of darkness.  And in the past months, a spiritual spring of newness and depth and peace is sprouting within. 

Brian Doerksen challenges me to dream again...to be led by my Shepherd Guide
.
Here we stand
At a crossroads again
Like you said
In time the seasons change

Looking back
We recall the blessing and the pain
But now we turn our hearts toward
What is still to come  
We want to dream again


Lead us Lord
Into a life of fruitfulness
Prepare our hearts to risk again
As we trust
Taking simple steps of obedience we know
That You will lead us Lord.


I don't know what it means for me to dream again or for Him to lead me into new seasons.  I do know that there was a powerful moment in prayer yesterday when my Spiritual Director announced to the Father that "anxiety and depression no longer define Juanita".  Those were spirit stopping words underlined on my heart.  Emotional struggles are still a part of my earthly journey, but I am now defined by Christ, and the life He lives within me.

I believe this is a crossroads.  Clearly a crossroads in my walk with Christ, but beyond that, I don't know.  But what I do know is that I am at rest in the all sufficient, perfect ways of Christ and it's a beautiful place to be.