My emotional health seemed to plummet almost overnight and was bound and determined to wreak havoc throughout my days. And when this happens, every little or not so little challenge in my life is exaggerated to unmanageable proportions. And right now, because of all the changes unfolding in my life, I felt myself completely overwhelmed.
Yesterday, the "sun" began to shine its rays into my dark clouds. Hope has once again resurfaced. I am deeply grateful for the timing of this grace infusion. On Tuesday morning Brian, Cam and Sonya leave with 8 others for Haiti for 10 days. And I will be honest-- it is a sacrifice to send them off...my precious family, and that a level of trepidation is part of that. I have not felt strong in facing this goodbye.
This afternoon after my nap, I lounged on the couch reading Cynthis Heald's, "Drawing Near to the Heart of God." I have come away knowing my Father's touch and hearing His words of truth.
His gifts of grace started with these words:
"Our willingness to endure is an essential that we bring to our journey--but the ability to endure is a gift from the Lord.
The more we learn to receive and depend upon His grace in deepening measure the less anxious we will be about what the future holds and whether we will have the strength to face it. Our journey to the Father's heart will intensify our confidence to infuse strength in the midst of suffering.
It doesn't matter what we encounter in life, what we must endure, what burdens we bear--God's grace is sufficient to carry us through."
This is a an area of my life that falls so short of where it needs to be. My focus on the untold possible anxieties of the future diminishes my trust in His sufficiency. Cynthia's words remind me that WHATEVER unfolds in my life, God's grace is sufficient.
Paul's words push me to Him..."For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength." Philippians 4:13
And Hallelujah-- it's not something I have to muster up within myself! Timothy reminds me, "You therefore, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus." 2 Timothy. 2:1
Oh the beauty of my High Priest who..."understands our weaknesses, for He faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive His mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most." Heb. 4:14-15
It's hard for me to imagine Jesus being tested with anxiety over the present and the future, and yet we are told that He faced what we do. He is also our example in all that we face.
Again Cynthia calls my heart to trust..."To view our trials as a means of experiencing more deeply the power of Christ is to understand that God is enough."
I don't understand the mysterious, powerful workings of the Holy Spirit, but I do know what it is to experience Him as a dynamic living, active Presence in my being. I know that I opened the pages of this book with fear still holding on to my soul, and that 30 minutes later I had strong reassurance that God was enough. I know that none of the circumstances of my life have changed, but God has changed me.
Grace infused.
"Father
For the way in which you have heaped on encouragement
to my soul today
ThankYou
For the grace You have poured over my fainting heart
ThankYou
For the promise to meet ALL of my needs
ThankYou
For Your challenge to offer all of myself to You in trust
Here I am
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