Listening in Lent Day 5

I'm not sure why, but this is harder than I expected.  There seems this inclination to push off this time...always something else to do.  Or I am tired and I don't feel like quieting myself to actively listen--I just want to be quiet. 

I suppose I am as the disciples when Jesus asked them "just to wait" in the garden while He prayed.  They too were tired and self-focused...seemingly unaware of Jesus' intense grief.  And I find myself not wanting to be aware of the Words of my Father.  What an awful thing to admit.

"For Thy Name's sake, O Lord,
Pardon my iniquity for it is great." 
Psalm 25:11

Right now I am re-reading a journal from July5/09 to Dec. 26/09

I have just read these words from the teaching of Ron Hallman..."I am tired because I didn't listen to His voice."  

The words sound simple and raise a question--Is this true?  Do my times of tiredness come from not listening to His voice?  It doesn't take me long to say, "yes".

I take time and expend energy listening to the voices in my head; the unspoken but perceived words and expectations of others.  I allow myself to be pulled in so many different directions.  And some are even good and noble acts of love and service for others.  But Jesus told busy Martha that Mary, who was sitting at His feet holding on to every word--she had chosen "the better part."

God sometimes I too want to be Mary at Your feet--there I find Your richest blessings.  For all those times when I am a harried and hurried Martha, forgive me and patiently wait for my tiredness to give way to listening.

To You.