The Gatekeeper

Is this the way of life?  This trade-off between emptiness and fullness?  It seems prominent in my life lately.  This overall sense of tiredness and too many demands and an excess of burdens, to the point where I start feeling empty.  And then He comes into the barren chambers of my heart and fills me...again. 

I went to the house of God yesterday morning praying that He would have His way and move among us.  And oh the multitude of ways He was manifest.  We had traveled as a family to the commissioning service for my son and all those who will be embarking next weekend on the beginning of two new satellite church sites.  But to add to this excitement, was the blessing that our son was given to lead worship that morning.  I along with 1100 other people joined in praise and gratitude and homage to our God with our son leading us.  No one in that building has any idea what has transpired over the past 19 years for Cam to be at this place in his life.  No one could possibly house the depth of gratitude and awe we give to God for His intimate work in his life. 

Lunch and authentic fellowship followed back at Cam's home with he and two friends.  And I came home filled. 

For many reasons.

The sheer "pinch-me-can-this-be-real" feeling overcame me as I saw my son on that stage.  It filled me.

The words to the songs were "chosen" for the empty places in me...places where fears and the pain of life and the daily grind of life had begun to crowd out His life-giving presence.  The message of those songs filled me.

The spoken Word of God  met me in my hungering for truth.  The pastor was talking about "my place as a child of God".  One of those places is the rest I can find in His protection.

I so quickly grabbed on to these words.

"God is the Gatekeeper of all that happens to us.  That gate is called love."

Hebrews 13:6 says, "....we confidently say, 'The Lord is my Helper, I will not be afraid, What shall man do to me."  

I love that Jesus is my Gatekeeper of all that happens to me.  It is such a mystery at times, but strangely comforting also.  He has allowed tragedy in my life which I have no answer for, but yet He is the One I run to in these times of intense pain.

But the thought came to me that I need Jesus as a Gatekeeper in other ways as well.  I need Him to be the One who decides what I should allow into my life. 
I need to ask Him if that which has arrested my thoughts is from Him or the world. 
I need to ask Him if I should say "yes" to another commitment or "no".
I need to ask Him as my Gatekeeper to guard the pathways into my heart. 

And this too fills me.

I sooooo need "the Gatekeeper"

It's a new day...a new week.  I don't feel particularly energized or strong today.  I have no idea what is in store for me in the days ahead.  The week has the potential to be very busy.  Yet I know that the Gatekeeper is ever present and oh so able to protect and guide me as life unfolds.