Some lists work and some don't

I'm a list person. Actually...I love lists. I love choosing funky, pretty, or fun list pads, and then jotting down on a fresh piece of paper, my list. Oh the abundance of lists in my home!! Grocery, "To Do", Shopping, E-mail, Card-making, Budget,Job lists for my kids(they love those!)etc.. Then comes the fun of stroking off the list, whatever it is that I've accomplished. I find an incredible sense of satisfaction comes from seeing my list taper off. And when I'm down to one or two items, I start a new list, because by then, my paper has far too many strokes through it, and a fresh start is required. I really do love lists!! They work well for me. I am a very detailed, organized, methodic person. To have developed this tool, is of great benefit.

But I am discovering that lists don't work for all areas of my life. If you've been following along on my blog, you will have noticed that there are various areas of my spirit that are needing some attention. A part of me recognizes the beauty of my spirit hearing God's Spirit whisper in my ear. I welcome His gentle invasion into my soul, and long to cooperate with His intentions. But I am in the early stages of having to change how I approach these works of my heart. Lists don't work for spiritual transformation. You probably knew that, and I think I did too...somewhere up there in the recesses of my brain. But it ends there. It's never traveled the 6 inches to my heart and taken up residence. Instead, I approach soul work, with a pen and floral list pad, only to find myself in the midst of battle territory. My list only serves to remind me that I have not accomplished what I set out to do. My pen has never put a line through a much sought after character trait, signifying it's completion. It discourages me and leaves me with tumultuous inner questions.


The problem?? Spiritual transformation is a process. Funk and Wagnall's Dictionary states that a process is "a forward movement, progressive or continuous proceeding; passage." My Roget's Thesaurus offers a kinship of words with similar meaning: "refine, grow, cultivate". Many of these words bring pictures to mind and invoke a common theme...time. Time does not appeal to my list-making mindset, yet there is a very real attraction for my heart. Granting myself time for God's transforming work is a much more gracious act than a list. Not only does it give God permission to be God in my life, I'm convinced that this allowance of time will be gratifying to my spirit, much more than a pen and paper.

Carl Arico, in "A Taste of Silence" provides this insight, "Transformation is the process of God's recreating our very selves...All the phases of transformation are not done through our strategies. They are done to us because we are open to remaining in the presence of God."

I remain...open in His presence.