It's been a week--
taxing,
highs
and
lows,
beautiful,
awful,
exhausting
Brian left for Haiti 5:20 Tuesday morning
but not without crisis
His text 30 minutes later
told me he was breathing easier
And though all is going well for my hubby and the team
he's still in Haiti
which leaves me just a little on edge
until his return
Ashley and I had two days to continue
moving preparations
both of us being flung up and down like yoyo's
with our emotions
yet our love and care for each other
navigates all this
in beautiful ways
We created lasting memories
in the midst of upheavel
We know who we are--
"mindful of our frame
that we are but dust"
in God's eyes--
If He can accept this about us
can we not also?
And so we decided...
spoke words of "permission" to ourselves and each other
to allow us to be
who we are
Still,
for moving day
I prayed for
serenity
and
flexibility
I knew how important it would be
And He graciously provided
though not as I had expected
On edge, but excited
we arrived at Ashley's new home
to
filth
Do people really live like this?
How?
Why?
Because we don't--
and can't
which meant parents
and daughters
rolled up sleeves
donned rubber gloves
and got to work
Hours and hours of cleaning
to transform this house
into
their new home
Safety concerns
Landlord bombshells
and
still
I was
calm
and
flexibile
The last two days
have been for
recuperating
and
processing
the maze...
caring for my girl
through the crazy, unplanned part
of this transition
And I suppose for many
they could take it all in stride
just let it all roll down their back
But it's not me--
it's not how I function
Truthfully
it's unhinged me a little
Pulled me off center
Left me a little fearful
insecure
depleted for sure
There is no denying that
God is my Helper
but
He also provided me with a
helpmate
and
this week was very hard without the strengths he provides for "us"
It was a difficult night last night
yet
meditating on scripture
and
praying myself to sleep
hold a richness all their own
I'm pushing through
and God is providing
in tangible ways as well--
(My son is calling and taking care of His Mama)
It's felt much like a sea of waves this week
captivating skies and smooth sailing at times
but
dark clouds and stormy waters have been swirling as well
He's my Lighthouse
through it all
No comments:
Post a Comment