Transitioning

Perhaps "transitioning" is an ill-chosen title to use for any post since life is always changing.  We are always in the midst of hellos or goodbyes, gains and losses, joys and sorrows.  But for sure there are time when our days are more extreme in this area.

Like these days I am in.

It's ironic that early yesterday morning I was mentally noting how smooth the past few days had been and then, WHAM!!!  I got blindsided by so much all at once.

We are in daily conversation here in our home about the topic of university.  Some days our talks are calm, merely exchanging information.  Yesterday there was just a little more horsepower added as I listened to my daughter make her case once again for a university VERY FAR FROM HOME.  And although we have said "no" with some very solid reasons, this leaves out a very large element of faith on our part and limits the risk taking and adventure aspects which is desired on her part.

So this afternoon we gave our blessing for her to apply.

That is just one topic of conversation.  There were three other major discussions I was engaged in over various stages of transitioning that I am being faced with.

But isn't it just like God to meet me here.

Here in my feelings of insecurity, aloneness, fear...sadness.

My time with God this morning centered around a reading entitled, "To Live is to Love" by Dan Moseley
Some of what he shares is this:  "If we lose one part of our life, we become open to another part...when something disappears, it opens space for something else.  Loss opens new space with regard to faith as well."

His words are wise and true and although I am very much in the middle of "losing and opening", I value his eyes which are able to see both spectrum's.  

The verse I chose for this year remains taped above my kitchen sink and continues to be one which draws me back to the One who is walking this journey with me and is my provision and foundation.  "And may the Lord direct your hearts into the love of God and into the steadfastness of Christ."  2 Thessalonians 3:5

I took this picture at Eden this past August.

It's a mud puddle.  Yep...a very large mud puddle on the road I was taking a walk on.  And although mud puddles are not often thought of as a treasured piece to photograph, I was struck by the reflection coming off this dirty pit of water.

And it reminds me of where I am right now in these days and months of transitioning.  There is the reality that aspects of my life are not so pleasant.  The waters are murky and often block the path I had hoped to be traveling on or had hoped my loved ones would travel on.  At times there is just nothing pretty about it.  But if I allow my eyes to look beyond the muck and mire, I can see beauty.  I can admire growth and courage and a spirit of pursuit.  I am able to give thanks for family and understanding, grace and open communication.  And if I look with eyes of faith I can see Him and a future brimming with hope and possibilities and His never-leaving-me-alone-Presence.

Both the mud and the beauty are realities.  Sometimes I will sit in that puddle and some days I will gaze in it's reflection.  Because that is who I am.

But I will pray...always I will pray...

"God, grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change,

the courage to change the things I can,

and the wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time,

enjoying one moment at a time,

accepting hardships as the pathway to peace."

--The Serenity Prayer