New Beginnings...A Lenten Journey

A quiet, purposeful beckoning.
An inviting Him into the denial of self. 
An emptying of a part of me to make room for His fullness. 

Lent.

I have never practiced Lent in the past.  The churches I have been a part of, have not observed Lent and I confess I personally, have been mostly ignorant of its meaning and potential value for one's life.   Even now I admit that I am ill equipped to expound on this spiritual practice, but oh, such a strong desire to open myself to Christ!  Anticipation stirs within.

But it's hard...this denial of self.  I have not escaped being caught up in our Western culture's addiction to pleasure...in so many of its  forms.  Now that I have set a pleasure aside, the craving for what is absent gnaws at me.  On the one hand, I bow my head in shame at that which I am in want of.  But herein lies rich opportunity... to invite Christ into the wanting and have Him be my pleasure.  Endless moments of this "emptying" I have done stretch before me.  To think that He will fill me if I allow Him, is a treasure worth pursuing.

So much of Jesus' life reveals His ongoing intimacy with His Father.  The Father was His Source. 

What would my life look like if Jesus was my Source...always? 

Would I long so much for the things of this world if the Person who created this planet was my all consuming longing?

Giving up a pleasure is guiding me to remember Christ's sacrificial emptying...
His complete surrender...
the relinquishing of His entitlements. 
All this goes so contrary to my natural bent.
Holding on, demanding my rights, voicing that which I am entitled to...this is second nature. 
Christ's way becomes my way like a tooth being extracted. 
It pulls.  It's painful.  It's...un-pleasureable.

Today, in my wanting, I look to Jesus and murmur within..."It's for You...this minuscule emptying is so that I might remember your complete abandonment for my sake."

I won't pretend to know all that Christ desires to reveal to me these 40 days, only that He has called me to come closer to Him.

I wait at His side.

"Renew my need for you, O God, and grant me courage to ask.  Amen."
--Pamela Hawkins
"The Awkward Season:  Prayers for Lent"