Showing posts with label Spiritual growth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Spiritual growth. Show all posts

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

The Extreme Gardener

My son has taken up gardening...in small spaces, as the books outline.  He started talking about this in the winter and had listed on his Christmas list...pots for a deck garden and a gift card to a greenhouse. Recently he had a conversation and borrowed some books from an avid gardener friend of ours.  He was hooked.  Then came the detailed planning.

He had already decided that a deck garden was too small, and started envisioning a larger area.   His suggestion of cutting down our gorgous Norway Maple tree to allow for more sunlight in our backyard, was VERY quickly nixed by my husband and I.

"NO".

But, we said we would happily allow him to dig up a small area near our deck, which would be gifted with the most sun possible.  He was game.  And so began his meticulous task of preparing the soil.  He chose to have two plots, side by side, but prepared with varied methods and materials.  In essence his purpose was to experiment with the pattern of growth in each plot.  


On Mother's Day, he hightailed it out to a store for the lumber, and then continued on to a greenhouse for his soil concoctions and vegetable seeds.  I've watched him involve himself in projects before....focused, intent, intense.  He is amazing to watch.  I must say, that I was very thankful that part of this project was done on Mother's Day, because it gave me an excuse not to offer my aid.  My Compost Unit had once occupied the space in which the garden plot to the left is now stationed.  What that meant, was ...you guessed it....the unit, AND the compost had to be moved.  Have you ever moved a half full compost unit?  Neither have I!!!!!  But my son and husband did, and let's just say that the aroma from this unit cannot be described as therapy.  But they did it...one shovel full at a time, transferred to the other end of the yard. (My husband was a trooper!)

Our deck was transformed into a woodworking shop, as my son measured, sawed, and began to build the fenced frame.  My husband had to practically drag him into the house to make a Mother's Day card for me, and assist with meal preparation.  As soon as the dishes were done, he was back to work, and stayed there until dark.  Did I mentioned that he was focused, intent...intense??

Last night he got the itch at 8:40 in the evening, to plant the seeds.  It was dark, cold, windy and raining.  But this was not a deterrent for him.  And of course he opted not to wear gloves, because they're just to cumbersome when handling seeds.  I was sure he  wouldn't last long, but at 10:25, when my husband and I went to bed, he was still planting!!!  (We have a sensored light on our deck, which enabled him to work, but every few minutes, when the light shut off, he would have to come up on to the deck and wave at the light, and then return to planting)  I was almost asleep when I heard him in the washroom around 10:45!

The Extreme Gardener...that's my best title for him.  Of course there are others...crazy, insane(that's my husband's)...you pick yours, but I like Extreme.  And it's got me thinking...about the gardening of our souls, and whether anyone would place such a title on you or I?

Are we extreme when it comes to preparing our hearts for growth?  Do you seek hard after wisdom, read your "manual" for growing?  Am I focused, intent...intense, about the work that needs to be done in me?  And what about the times when we come across an area that requires some upheaval, with just a bit...or maybe a lot of "smell" to it?  Are we willing to work at it, one shovel full at a time, to allow for fresh growth?  Will I do whatever it takes for the soil of my soul to welcome seeds for growth...regardless of having to work in the dark, or the rain, or with the wind swirling around me.  Some challenging questions for all of us.  What will your answer be to the question: 

Will I be an Extreme Gardener?

Sunday, May 2, 2010

I Have Arrived

I have experienced a growing sense of unrest in my spirit this week.  I know why, it's not as though it's some phantom lurking in the recesses of my mind.  In truth, I'm not sure which is worse...to know why I am feeling this increasing uneasiness, or to be searching for the reason behind it.

Because I really don't want "it" here.  This awareness of a place in my heart that needs to grow is hard for me to face.  I've been here before, and I don't like it.  It's going to involve struggle, soul-searching, exposing my vulnerability. Honestly, I've been tempted to turn and high tail it out of here.  I'm just tired.  Tired of yet another piece of me that is damaged, defective, sinful.  I'm tired of never seeming to "pull it all together".

I sat alone in the pew at church this morning.  Alone with God.  I closed my eyes to talk with Him, and to send a message to anyone nearby..."please don't talk with me now."  The service had not yet started, but my my heart was so ready to hear His voice.  I needed for Him to talk with me, to somehow calm the building turmoil within.

I find it so beautiful how God just swoops in so quickly, yet so quietly.  Conversation and movement all around me, but within me, His Spirit has just penetrated the churning mass of thoughts.  He did so by reminding me of some poignant words from my Spiritual Director.  She had  spoken them to me several months ago, during a conversation in which I had expressed my angst over always having some area of my heart needing reconstruction.  I had lamented to her, "I feel like I will never arrive."  Her response caught my heart.

"I think of arriving as being in relationship with Jesus."

And in the pew this morning, the Spirit brought  those words right back.  I have arrived!!!  Oh maybe not from a human perspective, but from a spiritual perspective...from Jesus' perspective...I have arrived.  There is nothing I can add to my relationship with Him.  Colossians 2:10 breathes these life-giving words...."In Him you have been made complete."  And in John 8:36 Jesus Himself offers this promise..."If therefore the Son shall make you free, you shall be free indeed."

I don't know what lies ahead of me.  I don't know what tearing down and rebuilding will be required.  I don't know how long the process will take or what will be required of me to cooperate with Him.  But I do know, that being in relationship with Jesus, means that I am complete.  I do know that regardless of this restlessness of spirit, I am free, in the deepest sense possible.  And I do know that despite journeying down yet another road, towards Christ-likeness... in the purest, fullest, wildest way possible, "I have arrived."

One day it's summer and the next, autumn is in the air.  It will continue like this for a good month yet, at least the summer lovers sur...