Seasons

Sporadic and with lengthy pauses in between has seemed the nature of blogging for me these past months.  Yet the outpouring of "life" has never ceased.  Why, after all these years of living on our post-Eden planet do I have this expectation that a calm could actually permeate the spilling out of life???   I was a teenager when Randy Stonehill was belting out the words, "Stop the world I wanna get off."  His words seem prophetic today.

I am well in body and spirit, generally speaking and gratefully expressing, yet many around me are not and as one who has a tendency to carry burdens, I too often find myself weighed down.  The "Drafts" section of my brain is over flowing with words and laments and unfolding dramas but also with breathtaking pictures and joys and hope.  My thoughts however; feel scattered, jumbled and unable to compose something cohesive.  There's too much.  It's too diverse.  Blessings and curses.  Beautiful and horrifying.  What words can capture it all?  Where would I begin?

Shall I highlight the January escape my hubby and I took to Costa Rica...

its warmth and the spirit-strengthening crash of the ocean waves...
the times I spent in the sand while wave after pounding wave
moved me
and
let me laugh like a care-free little girl...

the wonder of waking each morning to "another day in Paradise",  

massages by the ocean and 

endless amounts of rest and togetherness?

Do I list the snail pace progress of my inspiring friend 

9 months post concussion...

the one whose life came crashing down around her 

when her head hit the floor...

the one who counts her blessings and 

has a new gratitude for rain, fog and clouds 

because then her head doesn't hurt so much?

Do I share the joy of baking cookies 

in my daughter's cross-the-country kitchen this past May

 or divulge the heartbreak of her flowing tears 

as we sat on the sandy beach? 

 Can I show you the dancing of my heart 

and the deepest of "eucharisteo", 

this giving of overwhelming thanks 

because after so many years the mental and emotional roller-coaster of health
she's endured

has finally, 

sigh, 

finally, 

stopped

for her...
we pray.

Do I detail my husband's two week tour of the Holy Land...

how he tried to walk on water

but couldn't:)

How the city of Petra rocked his world

and the Mount of the Beatitudes enabled him 

to see Jesus...

how he will never read the Bible the same way again

because he was there

where Jesus

walked.

Do I inform you of the bittersweet changes in my faith community...

how my beloved pastor and friend "retired"

in a manner of speaking,

and how our wonderfully gifted Associate pastor

stepped into her own size of Senior Pastor shoes?

Shall I post of the ways this bitter and sweet collide over and over

again in my psyche...

how I am embracing the new and

missing the former

simultaneously?

Would you like to peak into Sonya's month long stay in Ecuador
being an "unofficial" wedding planner for her sister
and Cam's 3 bachelor weeks at home where he refinished
a curb-side desk for his beloved wife?
Or shall I highlight their shared time in the mountains of Ecuador,
when they eventually reunited,
adventuring with family and witnessing the "forever's" of
newly married couple?

Do you have the stomach to hear of the endless suffering path
of my dear warrior friend who has now been told--
Stage Four --Incurable?
Do you have time to listen to me recount our endless prayers
for pain relief,
for healing,
for a miracle?
Do you know something of the daily running into the power of God's
silence...
the mystifying mystery of
Sovereignty...
where all you have to hold out to Him is
open,
trembling hands...
of trust
that even in
this
He is still
good.

I could share with you the delights of time spent with my
walking partner and friend...
the way we greet each other with gratitude
for the haven of our friendship
and then walk and talk through our life struggles
on the trails behind our condo.
I could recount the painful realities of her life
caring for a husband
four years post stroke,
three years post autoimmune disease,
2 years post cancer.
I know...
enough already!
Yet she soldiers on...

There's more.
More people
more stories
more delights
more struggles
more pain...

I wrote all of this while lounging on a massive King size bed...
I know
there is only one size of a King bed!!
My husband and I were in the same luxury hotel
we spent the first two nights of our honeymoon
almost 27 years ago.
That we were blessed to return
  for an all expense paid two nights compliments of a
financial institution,
oh my!!!
I came crazy grateful for such a gift and
welcoming a rest.
My world seemed to slow...
at least enough for me to
"get of"f and
catch my breath.

Now back home I revisit my words
and notice
 in the writing of these thoughts
what they all have in common...
a theme that they collectively share...

Seasons...
the same seasons the writer of Ecclesiastes spoke of
in times past.
That life unspools in seasons of
"every activity"
is nothing new.

"For everything there is a season,
a time for ever activity under heaven.
A time to be born and a time to die.
A time to plant and a time to harvest.
A time to kill and a time to heal.
A time to tear down and a time to build up.
A time to cry and a time to laugh.
A time to grieve and a time to dance.
A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.
A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
A time to search and a time to quit searching.
A time to keep and a time to throw away.
A time to tear and a time to mend.
A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
A time to love and a time to hate.
A time for war and a time for peace."
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

This collage of life I have been a part of is a
 web of
seasons.
It will always be this way while on planet earth.
But I'm reminded that it's God who ordains the seasons
in His sovereignty.
And I will move through them more smoothly
when I remember this.