The Joy of Lent

It was my Spiritual Director who introduced me to the Joy of Lent.  After I had shared with her my Lenten challenge to give up worry and fear and take on trust, she expressed her desire that I would still be able to enjoy Lent given the weightiness of what I had taken on.  I went home that afternoon wondering what it could mean to en"joy" this season of what I felt was to be a time of sombre reflection.  The following day she explained it as being able to  experience joy in Christ's sacrificial love for me.

It's not that I haven't been aware of my need for my Savior these past weeks, because I have.  But yesterday I failed overwhelmingly in my battle to give up worry and fear.  The previous two weeks I had gratefully been receiving some victory in this battle.  It had required much discipline on my part but it was exciting and hope-filled for me!  Friday morning it was as though I had neglected to put on my armor at the start of the day.  And as the day unfolded I became more and more entangled in worry and fear as various situations transpired.  It wasn't until evening that it hit me like a ton of bricks, "I haven't released any of this to God!!  What happened???"  How did I move through an entire day without  remembering that, "God's Got This!"?????

My journal entry this morning reads--

"I am ashamed and remorseful and disappointed in myself.  But now, this is the "Joy of Lent"-- to shed my sin in exchange for His garment of righteousness.  To leave behind the sin which so easily entangles me (worry and fear) and run with endurance the race set before me. (Hebrews 12:1)

It's the next verse which caught me--"We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith.  (verse 2)  NLT

My journal continues--

"When I keep my eyes on Jesus, he is the one who initiates my faith and perfects it.  This is not my doing!!!  Oh how beautiful this is to me.  Thank you Jesus for this vital truth I often miss.  Too many times I think the measure of my faith is up to me when in fact, WHO I keep my eyes fixed on is what lies under my control.  But faith--this is Jesus' doing.

I would so much rather have reveled in the "Joy of Lent" through some other means.  I'm not sure this is fully possible.  Is it not in the despair and shame of sin that the beauty of the cross and the burden of Christ's sacrifice is experienced?  It's when my spirit is humbled and sin is forgiven that I experience anew this Joy!! 

I take this Joy with me on this Lenten path.