How does one begin to put into words 23 and a half years of living at one address? So much life has been lived in this home. Brian and I have shared the majority of our married life here, Cam, all but a year and a half and Ashley having been brought home from the hospital to this, her first home.
I've been mentally preparing for this transition for several years now. The past year has been a full out tangible preparation of purging crawl spaces and closets and downsizing wherever I possibly can. Sonya's father has performed a makeover aesthetically speaking, with paint cans, rollers and brushes, along with 101 other odd jobs in order to prepare our home for selling.
But when we bought a condo the week before Christmas this all started to become very real. Listing our home the week after Christmas(ok so who does this during the busiest time of the year???!!!!) held this element of crazy unbelief. I would look out my livingroom window and see the "For Sale" sign and think, "Wow...this is really happening!" Less than two weeks later a big bold SOLD sign was added and I felt that...I still feel this, "Pinch me if this is real!!" But it is!!! It's real, and wildly exciting!!
Many are wondering how I'm doing leaving a home whose walls hold more than two decades of memories. My response goes something like this, "I'm obviously ready because the anticipation of moving is crazy high! Every now and then there's this twinge of nostalgia and then it's gone."
Packed in boxes for the moving truck are countless years of journals which hold the secret and not so secret life of this home. (And the reason I'm holding on to those is because Ashley wants to read them when I die. It's true!) Filling in the lines and spaces is the sacredness of living.
This home is heaped with the vastness of moments that make up life. Split your sides laughter has resounded off the walls. Agony laden tears have left their invisible pools on the carpets. My humble kitchen has been one of the most satisfying sanctuaries in my home where I chop and shred and peel and bake and cook the bounteous food which has nourished this family in the dailyness of life. The feasting celebrations of birthdays and holidays and graduations and milestones are etched in the walls of the dining room. Our living room has hosted an exotic world of family and friends and we are richer for it. Movie nights and the raucous cheering through TV sporting events are now laid to rest above the ceiling tiles of our basement family room. Bedrooms have taken their turns nesting one child and then another and now the parents. Everyone has enjoyed opportunity over the years to move to a newly decorated nest within their own home. Hallways and stair cases have been shelters for mid day, late day, any-time-of-day beautiful, open, hard...conversations. The bathrooms (don't worry I won't tell all!!) have long left behind the steam from marathon teenage showers. (I finally learned where the water water shut-off valve was:) Our beautiful Norway Maple has canopied our back yard and deck for a smorgasboard of summer bbq's and laughter- filled parties. The carport, although primarily the home of our modes of transportation has been privy to many slapshots and creative projects. Our summer room (aka front porch) has been a place of quiet and rest and the home of many conversations, neighborhood and otherwise. Will I miss any of these holy places in our lives?? Without a doubt!! But though the memories were lived out here, they continue to be an intimate part of who each of us has become. For better and perhaps at times, for worse, our lives were shaped by all that has unfolded inside the brick and mortar of this home.
I've been mentally preparing for this transition for several years now. The past year has been a full out tangible preparation of purging crawl spaces and closets and downsizing wherever I possibly can. Sonya's father has performed a makeover aesthetically speaking, with paint cans, rollers and brushes, along with 101 other odd jobs in order to prepare our home for selling.
But when we bought a condo the week before Christmas this all started to become very real. Listing our home the week after Christmas(ok so who does this during the busiest time of the year???!!!!) held this element of crazy unbelief. I would look out my livingroom window and see the "For Sale" sign and think, "Wow...this is really happening!" Less than two weeks later a big bold SOLD sign was added and I felt that...I still feel this, "Pinch me if this is real!!" But it is!!! It's real, and wildly exciting!!
Many are wondering how I'm doing leaving a home whose walls hold more than two decades of memories. My response goes something like this, "I'm obviously ready because the anticipation of moving is crazy high! Every now and then there's this twinge of nostalgia and then it's gone."
Packed in boxes for the moving truck are countless years of journals which hold the secret and not so secret life of this home. (And the reason I'm holding on to those is because Ashley wants to read them when I die. It's true!) Filling in the lines and spaces is the sacredness of living.
This home is heaped with the vastness of moments that make up life. Split your sides laughter has resounded off the walls. Agony laden tears have left their invisible pools on the carpets. My humble kitchen has been one of the most satisfying sanctuaries in my home where I chop and shred and peel and bake and cook the bounteous food which has nourished this family in the dailyness of life. The feasting celebrations of birthdays and holidays and graduations and milestones are etched in the walls of the dining room. Our living room has hosted an exotic world of family and friends and we are richer for it. Movie nights and the raucous cheering through TV sporting events are now laid to rest above the ceiling tiles of our basement family room. Bedrooms have taken their turns nesting one child and then another and now the parents. Everyone has enjoyed opportunity over the years to move to a newly decorated nest within their own home. Hallways and stair cases have been shelters for mid day, late day, any-time-of-day beautiful, open, hard...conversations. The bathrooms (don't worry I won't tell all!!) have long left behind the steam from marathon teenage showers. (I finally learned where the water water shut-off valve was:) Our beautiful Norway Maple has canopied our back yard and deck for a smorgasboard of summer bbq's and laughter- filled parties. The carport, although primarily the home of our modes of transportation has been privy to many slapshots and creative projects. Our summer room (aka front porch) has been a place of quiet and rest and the home of many conversations, neighborhood and otherwise. Will I miss any of these holy places in our lives?? Without a doubt!! But though the memories were lived out here, they continue to be an intimate part of who each of us has become. For better and perhaps at times, for worse, our lives were shaped by all that has unfolded inside the brick and mortar of this home.
"Great is the force of memory,
enormously great,
my God,
a chamber vast and infinite."
--Augustine
A chapter is ending, but the book has already been published. It's inscribed on the pages of our lives.
1 comment:
Insert sobbing...I love your home and the joy I've experienced within it! I expect we can do that at a condo too!!
Post a Comment