When Gratitude is Too Small A Word

Maybe it's my mood today.

Perhaps it's that it's been 5 years
Or the reality that so many I hold dear are facing a Christmas
marked by the loss of someone they love.
Regardless of the reason,
I am keenly aware that it could have been me
alone
this Christmas again

Five years ago today
my husband suffered a heart attack
followed by open heart surgery 8 days later.

But he's not medically supposed to be here today.
The blood clot "should" have taken his last breath away
Many others never have the sudden pain in their chest disappear
For countless individuals the blood clot doesn't dissipate.
It blocks the flow of life-giving blood
and quickly takes one's life
and changes forever
the lives of everyone else.

And I will never know why
God wrapped me in mercy
Why my children are still enjoying the gift of a father
Why I am still living life
with the man I love

I will never know the why's
but I will forever be filled with deepest gratitude
And both of us
will continue to breathe the air we're given
as individuals
and as a couple
to love and  bless others.

"Another Year Has Gone By"

"So many 25th's of December

Just as many 4th of July's

And we're still building it together

It only comes down to you and I

I know you can still remember

Things we said right from the start

When we said that this could be special

I'm keeping those words deep down in my heart

Another year has gone by

And I'm still the one by your side

After everything that's gone by

There's still no one saying goodbye

Though another year has gone by

And we're still holding hands when we're walking

Acting like we've only just met

But how could that be--when there's so much history

Guess that's how true lovers can get

Another year has gone by."

Bryan Adams