Reflections of Mother's Day

I am always surprised when occasions catch me off guard.  

I tend to prepare myself fairly well I think

But this year the tides of emotion washed in and out

and I wasn't ready.

Mother's Day is bittersweet for me.

I am full

with the joy and blessing and gifts I experience

in being a mother.

Yet there is a sad and at times painful reality

that my own Mother is absent from my life.

For whatever reason,

this past week I found myself panicked at times.

On Tuesday I suddenly HAD to send a card

to my sister who lives out of province.

And it HAD to be handmade

with a picture of her and our Mother.

When I took it to the postal outlet he asked the value.

Uh..."it's sentimental value", I responded.

My "sentimental valued" card

required 2 day delivery service

which could have purchased a small bouquet of flowers as well...

But it didn't matter.

It HAD to get there for Mother's Day.

There were other moments of "panic"

in which I felt that I HAD to fulfill some thought that came to mind.

Strange,

but I just let it be.

My Mom and me

A rose and card in memory of my Mother

For some reason I did not feel the need to write on it

In the midst of the bitter was the sweet.

I adore my children

and have the added privilege this year of a daughter-in-law.

My husband is on a Mission Trip to Haiti
yet he and Ashley had planned ahead
and this was what greeted me Sunday morning.

 Phone calls and emails from Haiti,
hugs "delivered" from my son,
as well as phone "I-love-you's",
an "invitation" to sit with my daughter in church,
flowers at church for all the Haiti "widows" and mom,
a nap,
texts from my sister remembering our Mother,
dinner with Ashley
and her company as I watched
the Leafs beat Boston!!!!!!!!
What more could a Mother ask for????!!!!  ha,ha

Mother's Day will always hold this tension for me.
And I do have to choose where my thoughts will dwell.
I can't live in the "I wish..." era.
There's too much of "what is" that is
beautiful and satisfying and blessed.
Instead,
I acknowledge and remember my Mother of too few years
and I rejoice and give thanks
that I have been given this incredible journey
called Motherhood.