I was about 2/3's of the way through Mary Beth Chapman's book, "Choosing to See", when we arrived at Eden and I found my soul deeply settling in to this latter part of her book. These chapters were primarily compiled of blog entries...the raw, honest emotions of a broken Mama's heart. If you don't know the story, she and Steven Curtis Chapman's(Christian music artist) youngest daughter was run over and killed by one of their older children. It was within these blog entries that Mary Beth drew me in, as some of the broken shards of my own heart, although from different circumstances, are painfully fresh.
It was during a walk on the beach one day, that Mary Beth thrust her hard questions heavenward. "Why, What now, How, What?" God's answers to her were answers for my own heart:
Why? "Because I am God and I know all and am in control and know what is best. Even though it looks like a mess...it is my mess."
What now? "I am God...keep walking and keep trusting...love well the ones still in your charge and care...realize that time is short, life is hard, but I've given you so much, do not squander it!"
How? "By remembering that I am God and your trust has to rely completely on me...no striving of your own will to fix, heal, cure, help, calm any of what you see as a mess. I allow what I allow for reasons you can't even comprehend...rest. You won't figure this out, but He who holds Maria, holds you."
What? "Realizing I am God, do the next thing. Tell people of my amazing faithfulness, love your family and friends well...rest! It's okay to take the time you need for you. Make changes if you need to. Life on earth is short! I am coming to get you...soon!"
Did you notice that God seemed to have a theme? "I am God." and "Rest".
God is so gentle with us. He knows us so well. He knows what we need to hear and what is better left unsaid until another time. I'm grateful for His calming ways...His timely wisdom.
No comments:
Post a Comment