To be or not to be....content

I am choosing to practice contentment. It's not something foreign to me. For many years now, it's been a practice of mine, but with the coming and going of "seasons" in my life, it receives varying measures of attention. The current season of my life is calling for a more focused attentiveness to this practice. I found it almost comical this morning...I'm sure God did even more so... that as the hours moved onward my thoughts became, "Couldn't we just save this contentment "thing" for another day...when it's a little bit easier?"

That is how we humans think, isn't it? Someday...when all my "i's are dotted and all my "t's" crossed, when my "ducks are all lined up in a row", THEN, I will practice contentment. But today???? You've got to be kidding. Sometime ago I came across this quote: "One of the hardest things to realize is that our someday is right now." (Author Unknown) That really resonated with me because I know that's how I think. The future holds my "someday". Call it what you will...age, maturity, wisdom...I have come to believe more and more, that my "someday is right now" It's not down the road.

So what does it mean for me to practice contentment? I don't believe it means that I have to love where I'm at. Authenticity is still a part of contentment. Nor does it mean that I don't have any goals, or that I've stopped striving to change what is in my control. But there's a good deal that's out of my control today. I have to wait for a new medication to start working in my body and it's not going to be overnight. My "to do" list for the day might not be accomplished. Am I going to brow-beat myself on my pillow tonight because of that, or accept the reality. I'd like to see super human progress in some other areas of my life. Who am I kidding????!!!!!!!! I don't have any of Super Woman's genes in my body....it ain't going to happen!!! Oh, and I'd really love to be able to serenely manoeuver through all of the above. Not likely! That would be why my pastor yesterday referred to it as a grace practice. I am given an abundance of "do-overs". Thank goodness. Because I know from experience, that contentment takes a lot of practice. To be content requires me to focus on the good instead of instinctivly defaulting to what's less than ideal. It means I am grateful for attentive doctors, OHIP and drug plans. It calls me to work through my character flaws gently instead of loading on shame. Practicing contentment opens my eyes to the strength I do have and allows me to accept my limitations graciously.

I know Someone who doesn't need convincing of the above. God does not just demonstrate grace to me...He is grace.
Oh to practice contentment with the same spirit of grace for myself, that God so lavishly pours over me!

To be or not to be...content. That is the question. I know what I want to be.