The Whirlwind

This is what the past 7 weeks have felt like.  A whirlwind!!!!!  And I don't think the wind will calm down for another week yet.  Sometimes, no matter how I plan to keep life quiet and calm, the air current picks up and threatens to whip me around within it.  At times I have been caught up in the storm and yet at other moments it is only swirling around me and not within. 

I can't count the number of times I have purposed to sit down and blog and yet my best intentions are lost somewhere in the unfolding of each day.

Seven weeks ago I sat in a crowded auditorium full of women hungry to hear God's voice.  The night was rich and powerful and spoke to my spirit in ways I had been eager for.  The 3 a.m. phone call the following morning began days filled with emotions all seeming to piggyback the other-- sadness and loss and celebration and accomplishment, stresses and surprises.  I think it is called life.  I also call it hard.

My sister-in-law succumbed to her brain cancer that early Saturday morning of June 3.  Two days later we flew across the country to celebrate our daughter's convocation from university and to help her pack up her belongings for storage for 3 months.  Rollercoaster emotions accompanied our days. A fiasco of sorts challenged our sanity as we needed to schedule our home flight for a day earlier to be part of the remembering and celebrating Debbie's life.  Being with family was needful and tiring.  Right on the heels of the funeral was a business  conference with a completely different environment and thankfully in the same city.  Home was a welcome place after being gone almost 2 weeks and I was exhausted.  Exhausted emotionally and psychically and ready for a much needed breathing space.   But so much of what should have transpired as uneventful continued to challenge me in so many ways.  As soon as this dust settled my tired girl came home to rest and enjoy family and friends and participate in a wedding before she flys across the ocean to spend six weeks with her bosom friend.  Thankfully I was wise enough to keep my calendar virtually clear so that I can be with her and be here for her.  The days have not been smooth for her for a long time but she and I have both noticed even more pronounced fatigue and emotional weariness.  She is in the care of a health care provider but there are not quick solutions to the longevity of what she is experiencing.  Cam and Sonya joined us for a belated Father's Day and Ashley's 22nd. birthday celebration.  I have learned something valuable since my kids have left home--the time that we spend together is never enough, but it is rich and filling and is a source of contentment for my Mama's heart still the same. Then just a few days ago we sold our cottage which has been for sale for four  years.  It's time but with no one even putting an offer on it for the past years to two very quick offers and the sale of it, it has actually come as a surprise. Our niece will be married this coming Saturday and it feels rather fitting to awaken on Sabbath morning and pack up the car to travel to our Eden and enjoy the last 6 days of ownership of what has been a haven for our family for 20 years.  A few days after our return I will hug my girl goodbye as she braves her way across the waters to the experience of a lifetime.  And I will pray alot!!

Perhaps then the wind will become a gently blowing breeze and I will be able to blog about Ashley's convocation, selling our cottage, and what God is doing in the deep places of my heart.

For now, I keep trying to steady myself in Him as the wind blows.