The Problem of Pain

I remember reading an author's words years ago that went something like this--"Pain is just pain; it won't kill you."  

C.S. Lewis in his book, "The Problem of Pain" writes, "God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains; it is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world."

"There is no coming to life without pain", reveal the thoughts of Carl G. Jung


While there is truth in all of these statements, they slip off our tongues so much easier when we are not in pain.  But when pain arrives as a guest and then makes the decision to take up residence, such words are harder to say.

It was a little over a year ago that I began having serious issues with this companion of pain.  I struggled then to come to some level of acceptance while seeking various treatment options.  And after many months, I seemed to emerge on the other side, enjoying relatively pain free living once again.  But last September found me coming face to face with this companion once again, and though I've filled my calendar with health care appointments, the results are negligible.  Added to this are new areas of pain.  The accumulative effect is challenging to say the least.  Some days are so very discouraging.

I've tried the, "Millions of people all over the world are suffering in far greater ways than I am."  And they truly are!!

Writing in my Eucharisteo Journal each day reminds me of how much I am blessed.  Even the wealth of health care professionals that I am privy too is cause for gratitude.  And I am grateful!

Staying close to God and listening to His still small voice is necessary food for my soul and encouragement for my spirit.  And He really does encourage me!!

I suppose the stark reality is that despite all of the above, the pain is still there.  Regardless of how I may focus on the goodness in my life, there is still this "problem of pain".  God rarely seems to magically remove the pain in our lives.  I don't know the "why" of this, I just know it to be true.  I'm not sure that I am even fighting this reality.  I think I feel as though I must choose one of two camps to live in.  Either accept that pain is now part of my life, or forge ahead in exhausting the options.  And yet why must I select one or the other?  Because living in limbo is so unsettling; it seems far more concrete to live one way or the other???

This morning I sat in a room full of women listening to an inspiring, godly woman and gifted teacher reflect God's word to us.  She has her own world of pain, challenges, and unknowns far beyond the scope of what I live with.  Yet, she lives out her faith in profound ways and some of this is her acknowledgment of the discouragement she rubs shoulders with.  Today she said, "My circumstance is not a surprise to Jesus and He will hold me in His hands."  Her honesty encourages me and supports me in ways that reveal the beauty of the Trinity's grace.

And perhaps this is only and always what God calls us to in our pain...to see the gracious touch of the Trinity in the trials and confusion and heartaches of this life.

This problem of pain is always going to be present this side of Eden.  I pray for grace to live with pain and the unknowns that are a part of it.