A Fresh Taste of Lent

I've been practicing Lent for several years now and always with a hunger to take it in at a deeper level.  I hope I learn something new each year, but I think often I measure it more in terms of success or failure.
Success and failure being according to my marking scheme of course.  I approach Lent with the same trepidation and desire each time.  The trepidation revolves around what I am going to give up, and whether it will be "good enough"...for God... and for me and if I will be able to keep the legalism more than an arm's length away.  My desire is strong...to know Jesus in His suffering, dying love for me.  I long to grasp His sacrifice for me, something which always seems so out of reach. 

This year I felt unprepared to even begin Lent.  I wasn't sure what Lenten guide I would use and was struggling to know what to give up.  I really didn't want to give up anything; an already telling sign of my self-absorbing ways which Lent seeks to expose. 

But the Spirit faithfully provided a wonderful online resource, "Journey to the Cross" by Kendal Haug and Will Walker as well as a clear direction in what I am to give up AND in turn, what He asks of me to take on.
And today, being the 5th day of Lent I am already noticing a rhythm to this journey that I have never experienced before.  The Spirit has illumined my spirit to see that sacrifice is not about what I give but what He gives.  As I let go throughout my day, I experience how Jesus gives.

"The point of Lent is to reorient life God-ward"

--Journey to the Cross

I am so oriented to self and what I want in the moment.  To have the Spirit nudging me throughout my day towards God has been eye opening and freeing.  It is becoming less about self and more about God.  Less about the ways I seek to meet my wants/needs and more about how God is waiting to be my Provider.

At this point, legalism is sitting at the sidelines.  I know how prone I am towards check lists and it wouldn't take much to get caught up in doing this all "right",  So vigilance is important as I move through the coming days.  Having my ear tuned to the Spirit is paramount.

I haven't journeyed deep into the heart of my suffering Jesus.  I pray this will come and yet I want to be open and attentive to whatever it is the Spirit has purposed to reveal to me.

This fresh taste of Lent is welcoming. I'm walking its path one day at a time.